out of the frying pan and into the fire
by LunaML
Summary: what happens when Root has to ask Artemis to save the world AGAIN? and good ole' Arty's got a love interest to boot! I added a chapter and updated the first chapter. R&R!
1. preview

Please R&R this is My first fanfic. 

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arty and crew but I do own Luna and all the fun theories behind ESP And alternative universes Mwahahaha several quantum physics majors walk through the wall behind me with guns. Gulp! Ok so maybe Copenhagen did most of the work but I own Luna so there!**

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Root was doing something he thought never do again. He was walking up the sidewalk leading to the Fowl mansion. It had been a long fall since yesterday.

YESTERDAY

Root was even more irritable then normal. He'd been Off his cigars for a week now. For those of you who don't know that's a record. Why now of all times did that idiot Chix have to schedule his stupid "concert"? All it did was make problems for him.

Just then Holly walked in. "Report" Root growled at her. "Dead silent out there, commander, no one there Frond and most of the guys went on the tickets Chix sent me..." Holly said aloud adding under her breath, "The idiot still thinks I like him.". "Affirmative caption, even Foaly went, they paid him for the tech support." Root said. "We might as well take the night off."

"Sure" said Holly. That would be the last thing she said to him. As Root locked up behind them he heard a resounding roar like a million small shoes at a run.

PRESENT

Root shook himself back to the task at hand he was at the door. He reached up to ring the door bell. A moment later the door was opened by an older version of the Juliet he had gotten recon pictures of. She was chewing a large amount of gum and had on an outfit that showed off some impressive biceps. "Hello, Fowl residence" she sneered "please state your objective". Root gulped, the nineteen year old had disfigured way too many to be taken lightly. "I...I wish to speak to Artemis Fowl" he squeaked out.

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Yes I know it's not much the other chapters are more. I just revamped the whole kitten kabodle


	2. escape

I'm back! 

**Disclaimer: I own Arty, life, the universe, and every thing. Maw-ha-ha-ha Eoin Colfer, Douglas Adams, a mob of lawyers and a mob of Quantum physics majors make various entries with various lawsuits and/or weapons gulp ok so I only own Luna and Imratain (pronounced im/rah/tan if anyone cares) :(**

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FOWL MANOR

Juliet was all in all unimpressed. So what if there was another weirdo looking for one of the masters he might be short and green but she'd seen worse. Heck she was related to worse.

"Junior or senior?" She sighed.

The green man seemed to be expecting a different reaction but answered anyway, "uh... junior".

"He's at Bartleby's School for boys. NOT HERE!" Juliet snapped back. She threw a piece of paper at him and slammed the door.

Root studied the paper for a minute and groaned. It was road directions of all things! Why did humans have to be so barbaric? It was so much easier to have vehicles drive themselves. Well best get to it. He shielded and lifted in to the sky. While in commute he remembered back to his escape.

YESTERDAY

Root was safe in the police plaza but that wasn't for long. He had barricaded the door but that wouldn't last long with the huge mob of people outside. There where hundreds maybe even thousands. He couldn't stay here long. He scanned the hotshots' schedule and nearly cried with glee there was one in only five minutes. He grabbed a pair of double dex and checked his gun. He climbed into a pod with thirty seconds to spare and at the exact second the mob broke down the barrier.

Compared to the situation he was escaping the ride was almost calming (or as calming as being thrown up above hundreds of tons of molten rock in a small titanium egg can get). At least it gave him time to think. He had magic, wings and a gun they had lots of those and more, much more…gulp. No matter how he worked it there was only one choice and he didn't like it.

PRESENT

Root scanned the building with his helmet. There where three hundred forty two mud-men in there how was he going to locate his mud-boy without being seen. He kept his shield on and waited for an invitation. One of the students obliged with a simple "come inside". He went into one of the first floor windows.

Root was overjoyed. Despite one to a hundred odds he had chosen the right window. Before him was Artemis he was in some sort of meeting. No, not a meeting he was with a counselor. Root almost fell out of the window laughing. Well he'd just have to tale the mud-boy until he could talk to him.

"So Dr. Llebbmud is it?" Artemis said treating the doctor to his best vampire smile.

"Yes…" said the doctor hesitantly. Artemis hated to repeat himself but he wanted to check the stocks before he was forced to go to tonight's ridiculous formal with the bimbos and gold-diggers from Saint Nufenon's School for girls.

Saint Nufenon's was Bartleby's sister school and it was a long-standing tradition that in addition to going to Bartleby's all Fowls would marry a Nufenon's girl. All that passed threw his mind in a little over a second.

"You see doctor It's my mother…'' he started slightly shocked to see the doctor's face go pale with fear. "She forces me to go to these…"

"Okay!" interrupted the doctor "that's enough of that. You can go now." Artemis shrugged and left. "I am NOT getting into that again." Muttered the doctor as he added a "cause for transfer" stamp to Artemis' collection.

MEANWHILE IN THE FIRST FLOOR BATHROOM

A girl of about fourteen was putting the finishing touches on her hair. In other words she was pulling out all of the pins and extensions so her chin length hair laid flat. She had also changed dresses only moments ago from a huge pink monstrosity to a small black slip. She still looked good just less extravagant.

"I hate these moronic dances!" she complained to a more conservatory dressed girl finishing putting her hair up.

"Luna just give them a chance" said the other girl, "they're really nice guys."

"Wren, let me make one thing painfully clear," said the girl called Luna, "If it weren't for my mother I would be gone right now!" and with that she stormed out of the bathroom just in time to run into a certain someone.

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	3. dance

**I don't own things :p**

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BARTELBY'S SCHOOL FOR BOYS

Artemis wasn't really looking where he was going. After all even a genius as great as his could only think of so many things at once. In addition to going over and analyzing the meeting in his head he was predicting the stocks and cursing himself for not finishing the programming holographic ID (like a clone only without all the biological mess and storing problems) in time for the dance.

Excuses aside he didn't see when the bathroom door opened to reveal a young girl who promptly collided with him. Now physics say when you hit some thing above the center of gravity it falls backward. That was what Artemis could tell you what he couldn't tell you is how to fall.

Lucky for him Luna had formal training on the subject and was able to catch both him and her self. This however did not combine well with Artemis' strategy of grab blindly in the air. They in fact combined very badly, especially for Artemis' immediate health. When the two reached the ground Artemis' hands where in two very bad places.

Luna rose slowly turning various shades of red/purple. When she looked up at Artemis the look she gave him told him to run. It took five people to stop her from killing him but no one could stop the screams and the word "pervert!" rang through the halls.

LATER IN THE DORMITORIES

Artemis groaned his lodging associates (for anyone who doesn't know this is Artemis for roommates) where back. All he would have time to do is finish the background checks on the Nufon's girls. Little known to him there was a similar groan from the air in the corner of the room Root had been following him this whole time.

He nearly died of laughing when Artemis had his little "accident". This would be bad news for Foaly who currently had his chips on heart attack and was doing his best to win. Now he'd have to wait to talk to the mud-boy. "D'avert!" he swore well he might as well wait here until the kid got back. He could always watch the brat from the spy cams he had "found" peppered all over the school. He loved the irony of the kid being spied on by the cameras he paid for.

Artemis left with his clothes to get dressed in the bathrooms. The search had turned up nothing. He assumed this would be a tedious, uninteresting, dull dreary, mind-numbing, tiresome, lackluster, unexciting, monotonous, wearisome, humdrum, uninspiring, and overall boring night. He couldn't be more wrong.

THE DANCE

Luna sat in a corner of the room overall board. Despite many requests and a few pleas she had yet to leave her chair in the first half of the five-hour dance. She longed to leave but the rules said no one could leave until they danced at least once.

She scanned the room. Most of the guys and girls had danced and left. A good amount of couples still graced the dance floor eager to "dance the night away". She saw no one else like her. There was no one who hadn't danced with at least one of the opposite sex.

It was then that she saw the guy from the hallway coming her way. She thought it was smart of him to wait until most of the morons cleared away. Still she wondered what he thought made him any different from them.

"What do you want pervert boy?" she snarled.

"I just thought that maybe you'd like to get out of here" he said with his best smile. Unfortunately it made him look oddly like a vampire.

She didn't even notice "Dance? With you? Not likely!" she smiled just as evilly back at him.

"I have work to do and all the other girls giggle too much," or I scare them he added mentally.

"Fine" said Luna surprising even her self.

As they walked to the dance floor the entire room fell silent. Finally the DJ figured out what he was supposed to be doing and put on a slow song. The two fell into step. Artemis silently thanked his mother for making him go to dance lessons. Luna was too in awe of the fact she found Artemis attractive to think anything but 64...128...256...512...

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Can anyone guess my nameing syntax for Llebbmud and Nufenon's? Pairings relised after someone does!

I'll (probly) update soon.


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